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Boot-Scootin’ Baby Drives Woman Crazy

POOP SCOOPIN GRAVY

Her obsession from a western; her dance floor date.

Annabelle Cowden used to be a normal suburban girl, but she was driven insane in rather unusual circumstances. After a thorough investigation, police have determined that the cause of her psychosis was in fact her boot-scooting baby.

In an emotional interview, her parents revealed the full extent of their daughter’s condition.

“She used to be such a bright kid, so young and full of potential,” said Mrs Ellie Cowden. “Now all she does is babble about Romeo and count.”

Mrs Cowden has had to confine Annabelle to the house to prevent her from screaming at strangers to get in line. According to leading psychologists, this behaviour is symptomatic of the loneliness brought about when a gentleman boot-scooter plays hard-to-get.

“Ranting about foot kickin’ and finger clickin’ is just her way of pining after a boy,” her mother explained. “Not just any boy either – apparently he could boot-scoot like nobody’s business.”

One aspect of the case that remains unsolved is Annabelle’s references to a “cowboy god from head to toe.” Experts are still unsure what mythology that particular deity derives from; possibly Norse.

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