Immigration Minister Peter Dutton has heroically preserved the security and safety of Australia by vowing to send a group of refugees, including 37 babies and 54 children, back to the detention centre on Nauru.

Following a decision by the high court yesterday that ruled detainment of refugees in Nauru to be legal, Dutton’s plan to protect our safety by sending 251 refugees from Australia back to Nauru is set to proceed.

Australia’s Immigration Minister has a celebrated history of defending our borders from perils such as pregnant rape victims, and he is widely respected for doing whatever it takes to ensure such vile creatures are kept out of the country. Public opinion polls indicate that Dutton is considered nothing short of a god amongst men for his tendencies to abuse and spy on journalists, refuse proper medical treatment for 11 year old boys, and prevent our great nation from being “taken for mugs” by letting any detainees give birth on our soil away from the detention centre conditions they so clearly deserve.

Dutton’s mother described Dutton’s latest act as “his most heroic yet,” and wondered aloud how he continually manages to outdo his own achievements. “Those babies are criminals and pose a great threat to our health if not dealt with properly. Nothing makes me more comfortable than the knowledge that there will be 91 fewer dangerously foreign minors on our shores.”

In a victory speech, Dutton declared that “we are acting in the best interests, not only of these children, but children that would follow them,” drawing attention to the organised crime syndicate clearly being run by refugee children in order to smuggle their friends over so they have someone to play Xbox One games with.

Despite the fact that all foreign people deserve to be detained in most people’s eyes, Dutton has remained compassionate by assuring Australia that transfers will be made on a case-by-case basis. This will ensure any people in legitimate need can be saved, and the real offenders such as 5 year old boys that have been raped can be identified and punished accordingly.

(Image: AAP: Dave Hunt)