Why walk when you could do an unnecessary backflip?

Are you tired of safety? Do you like the idea of jumping over things that really don’t need to be jumped over? Then parkour is for you!

Parkour is a unique training style that originated in France; a country as sensible as they are polite. The core idea is to move as efficiently as possible between two points, using whatever means possible. In practice, this involves diving around on concrete like it’s not very hard and scrapey.

You can also embellish parkour with flips, spins and other gymnastic movements. This is a wonderful way to express yourself, and an even better way to increase your chances of becoming a paraplegic.

Some say that parkour is perfectly safe when taught correctly, but these people are pussies. The real rush comes from knowing you have a 50/50 chance of breaking something every time you leave the house. Safety is for nerds!

Others see parkour as disrespectful to the designers of such modern structures as stairs and handrails. These people spent a large portion of their lives meticulously crafting measures to prevent accidental injury, but who cares? They were probably racist anyway!

So if you’re interested in destroying your joints while looking a bit cool, give parkour a try.