The football team’s nerve-wracking style of play has given each fan a serious booty.
Liverpool FC have defeated Roma to progress to the UEFA Champions League Final, but it didn’t go as smoothly as supporters would have liked. Yesterday’s performance was one of many in recent history where fans have had to remain tightly clenched for the full 90 minutes, but on the plus side it’s given them some mad posterior gains.
“Just when you start to feel your confidence coming back, James Milner scores an own goal with his face and you tense right back up,” shared one big-bootied fan after the game. “It’s maddening, but it does save me time at the gym.”
The team nearly threw away a 5-2 lead, and the resultant clenching had roughly the same effect on supporters as 6 sets of 8 heavy squats. Early data indicates impressive growth of Gluteus’s Maximus, Minimus, and even Medius.
Naturally, Liverpool fans are over the moon that their team has reached the final for the first time in 11 years. While they may have hoped for a less stressful path to success, this heart-in-mouth style of football is not without its benefits – the well-rounded development of the gluteal region, for instance.
Die-hard supporters will be dragging their considerable badonkadonks to Kyiv on the 26th May for the Final against Spanish rivals Real Madrid. It’s sure to be a close contest, but experts predict that the renowned energy of Liverpool’s fans will carry their team over the line. Those powerful hindquarters could carry anything.