A Sneak Peek At Tonight’s MKR Episode
Shannon Noll and flaming bitch lady take to the kitchen to hopefully mess up so that we can laugh and enjoy the delicious karma. My Kitchen Rules shocked everyone this year by managing to convince none other…
North Korea Missile “Just Filming Sweet GoPro Footage”
North Korea has denied they are testing nuclear weaponry, explaining they’re just trying to drop the sickest GoPro mashup of 2016. In an emergency UN consultation held yesterday to discuss the nation’s most recent rocket launch, the North Korean representative Sin…
Australia Safe Again Now That 37 Babies Sentenced Back To Nauru
Immigration Minister Peter Dutton has heroically preserved the security and safety of Australia by vowing to send a group of refugees, including 37 babies and 54 children, back to the detention centre on Nauru. Following a decision…
7 Innovative Ways to Stay Cool This Summer
Are you sick of all the conventional ways to keep out the heat? Want to be the most funky fresh person out there with a well-regulated temperature? Then read on!
Rugby League’s First Ever Alcohol-Fuelled Incident a Huge Shock
A video has emerged showing rugby league player Mitchell Pearce disrespecting a woman and pretending to have sex with her dog, soiling the saint-like image commonly associated with rugby league players. On the evening of…
Queen Elizabeth Kidnaps Tony Abbott as Statement Against Australian Republican Movement
The Queen of England has declared she will be holding Tony Abbott as ransom until Australia promises it will remain loyal to the monarchy. In an unprecedented display of political misconduct and downright athleticism, her Majesty snatched…
Man Falls Down, Embarrasses Self
Local Sydney man John Peterson has brought his family into disrepute with a shocking lack of footpath stability. The incident occurred at approximately 8:59am Australian Eastern Time, when Peterson was on his way to work in…
Baby Fined for Juggling Chainsaws Without Wearing Appropriate Safety Goggles
Police have fined a Penrith baby $1,269 for neglecting to comply with state chainsaw juggling safety laws. Yesterday afternoon at 2:53pm, police were called the suburb of Penrith in Sydney’s West to investigate reports of…
Breaking: Funk Band Urges Listener To Get Up, Down
Dove® sues bird family for defamation
Unilever brand Dove®, known for their skin, hair and beauty products, have today filed a lawsuit against the 310 known species of bird that fall under the Columbidae family. A spokesperson for the company stated…