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Guy Who Sits Backwards On Trains Also An Avid Serial Killer

MURDIDDLYURDERER!!!

A man who intentionally sits on backward-facing train seats enjoys murdering people in his spare time.

Graham Shine isn’t your average guy. Graham chooses to sit facing the back of the train, even when there are plenty of forward-facing seats available! Also he frequently kills people and hides their bodies in a forest.

People like Graham face a lot of criticism in society, because sitting backwards results in a lot of uncomfortable eye contact, and because murder is a serious crime punishable by 20+ years in prison.

“I hate that guy,” said one woman who regularly catches Graham’s train. “He always sits directly in front of me. I can’t raise my head without looking him directly in the face, it’s the worst.”

When informed that Graham also abducts and slaughters people for fun, she was unsurprised.

“Yeah, that figures.”

When we approached Mr Shine for comment, he was completely unashamed of his hobbies.

“There’s nothing I like more than sitting backwards on a train that has plenty of normal seating options,” he said. “Except maybe killing someone and burying them in a shallow, unmarked grave, of course!”

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