Rugby League’s First Ever Alcohol-Fuelled Incident a Huge Shock

Mitchell Pearce

A video has emerged showing rugby league player Mitchell Pearce disrespecting a woman and pretending to have sex with her dog, soiling the saint-like image commonly associated with rugby league players.

On the evening of Australia day, Pearce brought his sport into uncharacteristic disrepute by drinking large volumes of alcohol and then displaying extreme arrogance and disgusting behaviour – something the sport has never before encountered in its clean, illustrious history. As fans will remember, there have been many great men in Australian rugby league, none of which have ever peed in their own mouth, assaulted women in a nightclub(1,2,3,4), assaulted women not in a nightclub(1,2,3,4) or defecated in a hotel corridor.

A spokesperson for Pearce’s club expressed extreme remorse for the player’s actions, describing them as “outrageous and completely out of nowhere.” “It’s not like Mitchell has ever been involved in any alcohol fuelled incidents before.”

The spokesperson went on to apologise to the club’s fans for Pearce neglecting to uphold his duties as a role model, unlike the sterling example set by all other rugby league legends (1,2,3,4,5,6). “He will be punished accordingly, let me tell you. He might even be fined more than 20% of what he earns in one year! Nothing would hurt him more than having to live off only $194,000* this year.”

Pearce has yet to issue a formal apology himself, probably not due to alcohol related circumstance.

(Image: AAP:Dean Lewis)

*NRL salary cap is $6.1 million for each team’s top 25 players. Although it would vary by player, average salary is therefore $244,000.

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