He’s not been within 1,000km of the UK, but he’s absolutely gutted.

Karl Kingsley awoke at 4:45am this morning and rushed to the TV to cheer on his favourite football team, Liverpool, in the UEFA Champions League final. Unfortunately for Karl, his team was defeated by Spanish bastards Real Madrid. But to clarify, when we write “his team,” we mean a club from a country he’s never visited.

“Four long years I’ve supported this club,” said Karl when asked about his connection to Liverpool. “And I’m not one of those plastic fans either; I watch at least two games per season.”

Despite the lack of geographical association, Karl claims he has a deep loyalty for the club and its rich history.

“I’m a scouser, through and through. I even own the full kit.”

Karl has lived in Blacktown his whole life, and his longest overseas trip was a 2 week stint in Thailand, which he described as “sick”. Nevertheless, he insisted on concluding the interview with a rendition of Liverpool’s classic anthem ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone.’ He had to Google the lyrics.