“Campbelltown Not That Bad,” Says Guy Who Loves Stabbing
The city of Campbelltown gets a pretty bad wrap, but one knife-loving resident has had enough.
Liverpool Fans Develop Strong Glutes From Excessive Clenching
The football team’s nerve-wracking style of play has given each fan a serious booty.
IT Graduate Chuffed At Being “Headhunted” On LinkedIn
He received a generic message on LinkedIn from a random recruiter he’s never met, and he’s really quite flattered.
Macron Apologises For Calling Turnbull’s Wife ‘Delicious’, Actually Meant His Daughter
French President Emmanuel Macron is embarrassed that he directed his lust towards the wrong member of the Turnbull family.
Great; Freshly Washed Water Bottle Tastes Like Soap Now
It started tasting a bit funny, so I washed it. Now it tastes like soap.
Man Guesses Wrong, Gets Moisturiser Instead Of Hand Soap
His hands are still covered in urine, but boy are they soft and silky.
Brave Woman Eats Banana In Public
In an incredible display of girl-balls, a woman has reportedly eaten an entire banana in a crowded, public place.
Study Finds Inverse Correlation Between Steroid Use And Singlet Width
A new study by the University of Sydney has confirmed that the more steroids a person uses, the narrower their singlet preferences become.
Kim Jong-un Admits He Thought Moon Jae-in was President of the Moon
The peace talks with South Korea are all just an embarrassing misunderstanding, says Mr Kim.
Satan Pleased with Plebiscite Result
Our Hell correspondent has confirmed that the Dark Lord is in good spirits after Australians overwhelmingly voted YES in the gay marriage plebiscite.