Adam Darwin is a perplexing man. In most respects, he is your average suburban guy, but then yesterday afternoon he did something inscrutable – he wore a bucket hat on purpose.
As we all know, there are only three scenarios where a bucket hat is suitable:
- Mowing the lawn
- Getting mashed at a festival
- Molesting children.
Adam was doing none of these.
We asked him to explain his behaviour, and, to our surprise, he calmly articulated a sound rationale.
“I need protection from the sun, but it’s also important to me that I look like a fuckwit.”
Clever Adam discovered that a bucket hat is the perfect intersection of those two needs. Bravo, Adam!