Following a pattern as old as time itself, local man Bruce Thompson has once again stopped saying “God it’s hot!” and started saying “God it’s cold!”
Late on Friday afternoon, Bruce Thompson officially marked the changing of the seasons with the comment that has been passed down from generation to generation since the first human beings walked the earth.
“It’s one of our most core animal instincts,” anthropologist Heather Matic explains. “Just as geese know to fly South for the Winter, so too do we adapt to the cold. The only difference is instead of finding somewhere warmer to teach our children how to catch insects, we just modify the way we make small talk.”
Recent research indicates that the annual transition serves an important evolutionary purpose in ensuring we annoy our friends in a seasonally relevant way.