Epileptic Sydneysiders Prepare For Annual Hibernation

Well, time to avoid outside

For people with epilepsy, Vivid Sydney is Armageddon.

The Vivid Festival of Light, Music & Ideas is back in Sydney from today until the 16th of June, and while most people are thrilled at the prospect of pretty pulsating lights, for others it is pretty much the worst.

The festival is known for its psychedelic displays of strobe lights and synchronised music, which are installed on the streets and buildings around the city. It is now so popular that you can’t go anywhere in Sydney without being shoulder to shoulder with at least 4 people and 1.5 prams.

One group of people you can be sure not to touch arms with though are the epileptics, for whom the entire city becomes a lethal (albeit gorgeous) hazard. Rather than take the risk, they set aside this time of year for a good long sleep.

“There’s not a whole lot else I can do,” said epileptic woman Roxie Kleid in an interview this morning. “Those bastards have ruined the whole outside world for me.”

Kleid spent her day stocking up on 3 weeks’ worth of tinned meats to get her through the epileptic community’s equivalent of a nuclear holocaust.

“I’m going to miss the sun, but at least I get to catch up on some rest.”

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