5 Hospitalised By Deadly Outbreak Of Mondayitis
Australians are being warned to avoid work for the next 24 hours after reports that a fatal new strain of the disease is in circulation.
Local
Supermax 2 Set To Be Twice As Super, Three Times As Max
Corrections Minister David Elliot announced yesterday that the new Supermax 2 prison will double the standards of super set by Supermax 1, and triple their standards for max.
Man Posts To Website Again Like Year Long Break Never Happened
Local Man Completes Annual Transition From Complaining About Heat To Complaining About Cold
Following a pattern as old as time itself, local man Bruce Thompson has once again stopped saying “God it’s hot!” and started saying “God it’s cold!”
7 Innovative Ways to Stay Cool This Summer
Are you sick of all the conventional ways to keep out the heat? Want to be the most funky fresh person out there with a well-regulated temperature? Then read on!
Man Falls Down, Embarrasses Self
Local Sydney man John Peterson has brought his family into disrepute with a shocking lack of footpath stability. The incident occurred at approximately 8:59am Australian Eastern Time, when Peterson was on his way to work in…
Baby Fined for Juggling Chainsaws Without Wearing Appropriate Safety Goggles
Police have fined a Penrith baby $1,269 for neglecting to comply with state chainsaw juggling safety laws. Yesterday afternoon at 2:53pm, police were called the suburb of Penrith in Sydney’s West to investigate reports of…
Dove® sues bird family for defamation
Unilever brand Dove®, known for their skin, hair and beauty products, have today filed a lawsuit against the 310 known species of bird that fall under the Columbidae family. A spokesperson for the company stated…
Study finds man wearing suit earns more money than you
A recent study conducted by the University of Technology, Sydney has revealed that the suit-wearing man you see around town is in fact earning over twice your current salary. The data indicates that the suit…